thee ass hooked whitey

wherein we announce thee mutha of all announcements

2007-11-04T22:48:00.000-08:00

Thee Everlovin' And Totally 169% Badasshooked Whitey Kollecktive is proud to announce it's participation in www.busterwantstofish.com.

We would not have participated if'n we were not going into bidness with the likes of the genius types from flytimes, voluntary beatdown, the water swatters, bruce "jenner" smitherhammer, brookiewookie and ed the design guy.

anyway, yr more than welcome and as always, we thank ya kindly....

Happy Birfday, Fats Fatterson!

2007-11-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

Madison is three. Thee Entire compound can now get drunk together!

super-duper, huge-ass announcement coming up

2007-10-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

who's ready?

thee, where ya been so long?

2007-10-30T10:12:00.001-07:00

We been a ramblin' son (Idaho, MT, Burning Pram, "the mountain") and we been a typin'. To dig the fruits of our labor, please turn your attention to the brand new edition of American Angler for a short piece by Thee Kollective's Thee Originoo Trouthole. It's in the Gear I Love section thingy. Sorry, no link, it ain't up on the AA site yet.

why won't jesus respond to my posts, god dammit?

2007-10-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

First, the fly fishing rabbi, now, just in time for the day of the dead, we are graced with the christian fly fishers forum, which, we suppose, adds an entirely new slant on the old "pits of despair" thing.

wherein we announce that thee kollecktive just may vote after all...

2007-10-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

thee burning pram approacheth

2007-10-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

wherein we retroactively post a "gone fishing" announcement for last week

2007-10-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

We are back now, so please enjoy the continued brilliance!

bad carping

2007-09-28T08:31:00.001-07:00

via videosift.com

deer: 169% badass

2007-09-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

wildlife, bikers, cheezy van halen tune.
clickity!
jumpy is now in da club.

wherein we post some originoo punk rock

2007-09-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

wherein we welcome Lola

2007-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Our pal WT and wife Robin (Mr. and Mrs Flytimes) have welcomed lil' baby Lola to the world. Congrats to both mom and dad! More pics here.

davis lake: trout vs. bass

2007-09-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

The New York Times checks in...
Money Quote:
Some trout fisherman — especially in the Pacific Northwest — are inclined to look askance at bass angling; after all, those tricked-out boats, those Nascar-like tournaments and those television anglers who speak with thick drawls can seem a bit tacky to them....
The future of Davis is uncertain. The Upper Deschutes River Fish Management plan, drafted in 1996, calls for the lake to be managed as a trout fishery. This could mean poisoning all the resident bass (and any remaining trout) and starting from scratch — and staking long-term sustainability on a bet that water levels will moderate and the lake will return to its historical fecundity. This plan is complicated by the occasional presence of bull trout, a federally protected species.
Public opinion poses another conundrum.
“There are some in the fly-fishing community that feel that what we’ve got at Davis is a darn good fishery, and that we should manage it for what it is — one of Oregon’s best bass lakes,” Shrader said. “Others are adamant that Davis be returned to what it was.
“Nothing we can do from a management perspective can please everyone.”

The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it.

2007-09-19T21:14:00.001-07:00

who's watching the watchmen?

holy jesus! the sex pistols reunion

2007-09-19T10:29:00.000-07:00

not to be undone by zeppelin, los pistols de sexo have announced a 30 year anniversary concert. sid vicious unavailable for comment.

a kollecktive korrespondant checks in...

2007-09-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

sans comment, chaps

reminder: there is no parking on the gotdam dancefloor, son!

2007-09-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

dumbfuck thread of the decade

2007-09-13T21:57:00.001-07:00

Thee alleged mammals o'er at "the klan" are chewing over the latest ESA decision which stated that hatchery salmon cannot be counted with wild salmon when determining the health of individual runs. It's the not-to-difficult to comprehend "hatchery fish just ain't the same thing as wild fish" argument. Amazingly, the majority of klansmen side with the hatchery zombies over native/wild steel n' salmon. Good lord awmighty... can we not inoculate for this vile sort of idiocy at this late date?

Money Quote (Buxtehude)
This is on the order of passing judgment that in vitro fertilization of humans, and artificial insemination of humans, cattle, horses, dogs and such are of a different species than those fertilized by natural means.
Odd that the judge or even the environmentalists could overlook such an obvious parallel. They don't require natural sciences to obtain a law degree, but there are people that one could ask if they thought about it for a bit.
This can't stand.

this is sparta!

2007-09-13T11:24:00.001-07:00

holy jesus! A Zeppelin reunion!

2007-09-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

From da BBC:

Singer Robert Plant, guitarist Jimmy Page and bassist John Paul Jones will play at the show to remember the late Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun.
The one-off concert, the trio's first performance for 19 years, will take place at the O2 arena on 26 November.

In a related note, Zeppelin tribute band The White Stripes have canceled the remainder of this month's concerts due to "exhaustion"

rock creek: what is burning and what is not

2007-09-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

The Forest Service will reopen lands and some roads near the fires of the Sawmill Complex. Land within each fire's perimeter will stay closed for now, officials said.

The fires are south of Interstate 90 and north of Montana Highway 38 (Skalkaho Highway) - within the Welcome Creek Wilderness and other popular recreational and hunting areas of the Rock Creek drainage.
For ddetails and photos: GO HERE.

wherein we exercise our massive literary muscle

2007-09-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's generally considered by the well-read kaptains of thee kollecktive that Cormac McCarthy's bona fide masterpiece is Blood Meridian. It is a breathtaking, violent and gorgeously drawn piece of American lit. Over at the Water Swatters thee Ulyssess Chamberlain Rockefeller recently found himself in the harsh territory described by this novel. His two (2!) posts are a wonderful glimpse into the places of Blood Meridian. This obviously took a lot of work, and thee angler would be well advised to pay it considerable notice.

lloyd carr = donald rumsfeld (fact!)

2007-09-10T23:37:00.000-07:00

captain, where are thee kollecktive's headphones?

2007-09-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

ahhh... thee art ensemble of chicago!

wherin we report thee sad tale of a guy getting his head chopped off upon thee waters of thee (olde) yakima river

2007-09-10T21:05:00.001-07:00

yeesh...

thee world according to WDFW

2007-09-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Exactly what is happening at WDFW? It's surreal... really.
Scene: About 11 pm along the shores of an amazing little salmon stream in SW WA.
There is a smallish, friendly, obviously tight knit crew of badasses (and a guide). A few fish have been to the ashram, seen god, and been given new life, but everyone awaits the next push, due in about... um... now.
Floodlights blast the parking lot and suddenly there's this voice over a PA. "Gentlemen, can you come to the bank for a gear check?" Holy Jesus! It's a bust!
As noted above, this is a v. tight crew and even before we arrived, everyone *everyone* knew the WDFW was going to show. Regs had been studied. One thug even had the WDFW site loaded on his "Pocket PC", which offered the opportunity to cite both chapter and verse to the fish cop.
Everyone passed the barb test, but our licenses were collected as the cop marched grimly to her 4x4, a clump of staggering, bemused and percolating fly fishermen trailing after her.
This site, she said, was closed to night fishing, and by the way, the parking lot is, as of now, verbotten after dark.
The angler's offered their protest... The web site -- lookit --- right there. The regs say this is legal water.
O! But it is not to be. The officer explained that "under orders from her captain and her seargent, she was to enforce section 937 blah blah blah...."
The website! say the anglers. Lookit! Right there!
No, says the cop, see this wierd, oddly-formatted document i've just pulled up on my computer? It says this is now closed.
But the website?
Sorry, just doing my job...The cop then commences writing down the names of the anglers.
Why are you writing my name down, comes a voice from the back.
When I issue a warning, I just write down your name and if I contact you again, then I write you a ticket.
How can I get a warning for violating a rule that, as far as an angler is concerned, does not exist in what is generally considered reality?
I'm here to educate you about this rule...
Ahhh, now it becomes clear. We are learning about an Orwellian clownshow.
There are a host of other issues which reveal themselves:
Loss of access
Loss of the substantial stewardship provided fly fishermen to this section of water.
Loss of income (guide)
And what shall we do with these men? Where will they now end up? What ever is there to do between the the hours of 9pm and 3am?

have thee pits of despair claimed yet another victim? alas...

2007-09-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

Great Lakes Fly Addict... dead or "just resting"?

wherein we present a toothsome rumor to thee anglers of the yakima river

2007-09-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Although Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollecktive has not make it over to the Yakima for trouts of late, we have heard that Jacck Mitchell has given up his lease at the Umtanum Recreation Area. If anyone can conform, please addd in the comments section.
Huzzah!

wherein we proclaim our !astounding! powers of rightness and note that, once again, all is right wiff the world

2007-08-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

aye, 0! anglers, thee pinks, they are back again. and the blood -- 0! the blood -- it paints the beach in its seeping maroon sweetness.

thanks, bush!

2007-08-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

um... how much longer?

from the raw story:
As if it wasn't bad enough for the Bush Administration already, contempt charges are flying in Montana.

The Administration's top forestry official has been ordered to explain why the US Forest Service failed to analyze the environmental impact of dropping a fish-killing flame retardant on wildfires -- or face contempt of court.

holy jesus! HAGFISH!

2007-08-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

Thee Pink Run is O-VAH!*

2007-08-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

*Or so says some kiss-n-tell hucker from somewhere around seattle. We at thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollective and Center for American Primitivism tend to disagree. Certainly, thee Kollecktive has noted that the Pinks ain't been as thick as the run two years ago, but over? OVER? IT AIN'T OVER TILL WE SAY IT'S OVER!

DAMMIT.

wherein we continue to offer feeble excuses for our lack of posting

2007-08-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Lookit, there are TWO (2) tides a day. There are plenty of fish out there, and thee Kollective's larder needs stocking afore the snow flies. We are stockpiling tons of great posts, but right now, we are fishing...

wherein we explain our utterly pathetic lack of posting of late

2007-08-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

o! thee joy. humpies? what humpies?

holy jesus! perseid meteor shower Sun. Aug. 11-12

2007-08-07T10:44:00.000-07:00

Attention Star Hustlas:
Rising from the northeast. Moon should not be a factor this year. Ahoy!

true, it is friday, but doom is all about us o! angler

2007-08-03T15:27:00.000-07:00

certainly this is the sound pinks and silvers perceive as they swim past lincoln park...

wherein we check the pulse of an alleged blog

2007-08-03T15:08:00.001-07:00

Not that it was easy to discern it's life from it's non-life, but the blog of James Pio (uhhhh... "troutgrass") appears to have been added to eternity's trophy case. We wouldn't mention it really, because the blog was one of the worst example of this ... ahem... art, but only do take the time to note it's demise because Pio was suck a dick when it came to fly fishing blogs and bloggers. G'nite!

the pits of despair appear to be in crisis

2007-08-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

flyfishtalk.com has been haaaxored.

fly fishing pits of despair department: fly fisher's paradise killed

2007-08-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Fly Fisher's Paradise, a pit of despair (and fly fishing bulletin board), was recently terminated by it's owner -- some fly shop in PA. Here's the suicide note:

Steve has given me the word to close the FFP forums due to general misue, bashing, etc.
The right to free speech does not exist on another's property. Steve, as the owner, wanted to keep the board PG and it was too much of a time committment to do so.
It's a shame that numerous posters always were picking and antagonizing, but that's the way it was, so this is the way it is now.
Go fishing!

BP Oil: now killing Lake Michigan

2007-08-01T09:23:00.000-07:00

From the Chicago Sun Times:

BP has spent millions promoting itself as the greenest oil giant. But soon, the company plans to start dumping 1,600 pounds of ammonia and nearly 2½ tons of contaminated sludge each and every day into Lake Michigan from its refinery in Whiting, Ind., a mile from where 11 cities get their drinking water.
BP says its discharge is 99.9 percent water. But this merely dilutes the truth about what all those total tons of pollution will do to our lake. Ammonia is toxic to fish, frogs and other amphibians, and it can cause oxygen-gobbling algae blooms that smother aquatic life. Toxic metals in the sludge -- which likely include mercury -- will accumulate in the tissues of fish and anything (or anyone) eating them.
The company, which posted more than $6 billion in profits last quarter alone, could easily eliminate the hazardous discharges. But BP told Indiana regulators that it didn't have space to install the treatment equipment. And nobody from the state, it seems, wants to press them for an alternative solution.
Last week, the U.S. House of Representatives voted 327-26 to pass a bipartisan resolution led by Illinois Democrat Rahm Emanuel and Michigan Republican Vernon Ehlers condemning the Indiana permit. Mayors in Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan are up in arms. Gov. Blagojevich is considering legal action. And Sen. Richard Durbin and others say lawmakers may go after BP's air pollution permits if all else fails.
Despite the swelling avalanche of protest, neither BP nor the state of Indiana seems to be getting the message. Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels -- a former top official in the Bush administration -- has ramped up his support for the company plan.

wherin we direct thee angler to voluntary beatdown's gravlox recipe.

2007-08-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

pretty excellent. warning to the squeamish: it involves applying a "rock shampoo" to a salmon/steellhead.

wherin we post something for thee angler while we fish

2007-07-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

apologies, o! angler, but we is busy a fishing. please accept this meager stand in post in lieu of genuine AHW stuff. we promise we'll do better shortly. from progressive boink.

If it's Friday, we are commencing to yodel

2007-07-27T12:32:00.000-07:00

Seriously, is this not one of the top 5 greatest American Songs in thee history of great American songs?

wherin we post up some verry good advice for them what is salmon fishing in our waters

2007-07-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

Thee AHW Kollective got a great response to the cold smoking tips we posted last week. As a companion, it may be in the interest of thee angler to bookmark this page at Salmon University

god bless us, o! anglers!, we have returned!

2007-07-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

gone fishing

2007-07-24T01:02:00.000-07:00

thee ass hooked whitey does not condone cruelty to mutts. thee ass hooked whitey does not condone ANY cruelty to animals. thee ass hooked whitey does not condone NFL sanctioned dog fighting. thee ass hooked whitey especially loves golden retrievers, labs, mountain dogs, heelers, shepards, aussies, whippets, dalmations... what have you... we needed a picture... fast, because it's late and we are off to fish with VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE. therefore and stuff notwithstanding, we gotta get to bed, but it appears that this poor buddy realized that yep, he was hooked and yeah, it hurt, but daddy was gonna take care of it for him and that, by god, a pig ear was waiting somehere... in the horizon... after these temporary blues had passed. god love the dogs...
we shall return wed or thurs... depending (of course) on the fishing...

smoke 'em when ya get 'em

2007-07-20T10:02:00.001-07:00

hey, everyone can hot smoke a fish, but here's some pretty excellent instructions (based on a recipe from Michael Ruhlman's Charcuterie) for cold smoking those pinks.

holy jesus! breaking news! a pink salmon has been caught off thee waters of west seattle

2007-07-20T09:48:00.000-07:00

if only they knew, o! anglers, that they swim toward their doom!

holy jesus! UFOs in West Seattle!

2007-07-18T11:08:00.001-07:00

From the West Seattle based blog extraterrestrials and UFO phenonema:
I was going through pictures I took at Alki Beach on July 16th, 2007, and in one that I took, just after sunset, I got a teardrop shaped UFO, not an orb shaped one like all the others, this one is different.

wherein we update the blogroll

2007-07-18T10:35:00.001-07:00

knocking back tall boys:
mostly right, usually
fly fishing in yellowstone
capr on the fly
water swatters
john aqui
midcurrent

yr out the band, sunshine:
fishing goddess

did thee allmighty ass hooked whitey kollecktive miss your blog? let us know in thee olde comments

writing on running water

2007-07-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

the stranger's charles mudede has this wonderful take on blogging in slog:

In his final interview, given to the French newspaper Le Monde in the spring of 2004, Jacques Derrida spoke of death and writing: “I leave a piece of paper behind, I go away, I die: It is impossible to escape this structure, it is the unchanging form of my life.” He worried that everything he wrote would simply disappear after he was gone.

If only Derrida had experienced the brief life of a blog post.
I blog, I go away, I die: It is impossible to escape this structure in our post-newspaper, post-book age.
True, there’s more death in a blog than in a book, but it still has its beauty: Blogging is like writing on running water.

holy jesus! caddis bling!

2007-07-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

From our pals at Cabinet Magazine:

(Hubert) Duprat, who was born in 1957, began working with caddis fly larvae in the early 1980s. An avid naturalist since childhood, he was aware of the caddis fly in its role as a favored bait for trout fishermen, but his idea for the project depicted here began, he has said, after observing prospectors panning for gold in the Ariège river in southwestern France. After collecting the larvae from their normal environments, he relocates them to his studio where he gently removes their own natural cases and then places them in aquaria that he fills with alternative materials from which they can begin to recreate their protective sheaths. He began with only gold spangles but has since also added the kinds of semi-precious and precious stones (including turquoise, opals, lapis lazuli and coral, as well as pearls, rubies, sapphires, and diamonds) seen here. The insects do not always incorporate all the available materials into their case designs, and certain larvae, Duprat notes, seem to have better facility with some materials than with others. Additionally, cases built by one insect and then discarded when it evolves into its fly state are sometimes recovered by other larvae, who may repurpose it by adding to or altering its size and form.

wherein we check in with our boys in Hiroshima, thee carp

2007-07-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

Not going to well, actually. Our boys are scuffling, stumbling and generally sucking with a record of 29-48-1 (1? There are ties in Japanese baseball? Who knew?). The win games at a clip of .377 and are 14 1/2 games out in the Japanese central league. Dammit, dammit, dammit...

Nickel Tailings #34, Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, by Edward Burtynsky

2007-07-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Burtynsky's film, Manufactured Landscapes, opens in Seattle this evening

who reads this shit?

2007-07-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

thee last 100 page views:

thanks to all:
Portland Oregon
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wherin our man in Portland attempts to diabuse hank williams III of the notion that fishing involves the digging up of Lumbricus terrestris

2007-07-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

Our man in Portland, the punk wiff the Pinoy Powah, Jayj, plays bass in the band Power of County. They are currently on tour with Hank III. When he comes to your town, you should go to the show. Here's the schedule, holmes. Oh, and bring a baggie fo yo teef.

wherein we throw gasoline on the smouldering corpse of fly fishing bulletin boards (wild cheering, applause, the lighting of stogies)

2007-07-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

this just in from one of our favorite contributors...

wherein we kick off the second half

2007-07-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

thee sand lance beaches of puget sound

2007-07-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

holy jesus! very small, trained golden capr!

2007-07-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

and then yuo die (the series continues!)

2007-07-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

how much of a badass is this golden eagle? answer: 169% BADASS.
(thanks to snapdad for thee link)

gone fishing

2007-07-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

please, o! angler, yr indulgence is requested... we are "predisposed" prolly back near the end of the week.

thee ass hooked whitey kollective

massively massive pink run

2007-07-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Incredible! Huge! Tons of fish. Ye kin walk frae Lincoln Park tay Vashon on they backs!
Bonus meat: Puget Sound Anglers can now keep four a day.

it's friday: am i bleedin'?

2007-06-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

Before we blow outta here, this kinda dumb luck random oddness must be seen. Other than that, go catch some fishes and don't go shoot .50 cals into stuff where it could bounce back and hit you in the noggin.

o sweet jesse james: devendra banhart covers townes van zandt

2007-06-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

Thee AHW Kollecktive recently screened "Be Here to Love Me" a wunnerful documentary about the hard life and tuff times of Townes Van Zandt. It kicked ass. Buried in the special features was this gem: Devendra Banhart doing his version of "Colorado Girl". We couldn't believe it either!

bull trout = 169% badass

2007-06-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

Our man in the tri-cities, Vern, had a couple pretty kick-ass run ins with badass bull trout while angling down in Oregon. We feel not a whit of sympathy for this trout. He oughtta know that if you fuck wiff a bull, bring a baggie for yo teef:

This one took the rainbow in fast water, then hung on as I hauled it up thru rapids and over rocks, into the quiet shallow pool I was standing in. All the while, I could see the elk-hair caddis in the small trout's mouth. You can see my leader in the picture; it looks like the bull has his mouth around it. Jim took this picture while the fish were right at my feet. If you look closely behind the bull's eye, you can see my reflection... note the bent rod.
Amazingly... the rainbow(s) survived their respective ordeals.

Via Westfly

holy jesus! dick cheney has a posse

2007-06-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

The Washington Post's must-read expose on the ways and means of (Vice?) President Dick Cheney, "Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency" just gets scarier and scarier. This linked story recounts Cheney's efforts at undermining environment regulation, gutting the endangered species act and climbing trees at the full moon and biting the heads off of bald eagle chicks.

Law and science seemed to be on the side of the fish. Then the vice president stepped in.
First Cheney looked for a way around the law, aides said. Next he set in motion a process to challenge the science protecting the fish, according to a former Oregon congressman who lobbied for the farmers.
Because of Cheney's intervention, the government reversed itself and let the water flow in time to save the 2002 growing season, declaring that there was no threat to the fish. What followed was the largest fish kill the West had ever seen, with tens of thousands of salmon rotting on the banks of the Klamath River.
Characteristically, Cheney left no tracks.

It gets better (or worse, we reckon):

It was Cheney's insistence on easing air pollution controls, not the personal reasons she cited at the time, that led Christine Todd Whitman to resign as administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency, she said in an interview that provides the most detailed account so far of her departure.

And for angler, the coup de gras:

When the vice president got wind of a petition to list the cutthroat trout in Yellowstone National Park as a protected species, his office turned to one of his former congressional aides.
The aide, Paul Hoffman, landed his job as deputy assistant interior secretary for fish and wildlife after Cheney recommended him. In an interview, Hoffman said the vice president knew that listing the cutthroat trout would harm the recreational fishing industry in his home state of Wyoming and that he "followed the issue closely." In 2001 and again in 2006, Hoffman's agency declined to list the trout as threatened.
Hoffman also was well positioned to help his former boss with what Cheney aides said was one of the vice president's pet peeves: the Clinton-era ban on snowmobiling in national parks. "He impressed upon us that so many people enjoyed snowmobiling in the Tetons," former Cheney aide Ron Christie said.

holy jesus! that fuggin' hurts

2007-06-26T10:11:00.001-07:00

From this morning's Seattle Post-Intelligencer*

With his hand wedged between his boat and a log, and his future son-in-law off getting help, William Messenger decided he was out of time. He pulled out a pocket knife and sawed off two of his fingertips to free himself from the sinking vessel.
Minutes later, his son-in-law arrived with help, a pry bar and other tools to separate the boat from the log. Messenger was taken from the Wynoochee River in southwestern Washington to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, where a hospital spokeswoman said he was in satisfactory condition Monday. She did not know whether surgeons had been able to reattach the fingertips.
Grays Harbor County Undersheriff Rick Scott said Messenger, a 51-year-old fisherman from Ocean Shores, might have made a different decision if he had known how quickly his future son-in-law, Jarrad Todd, would arrive.
"Hindsight is 20-20. If he'd have known help was not that far away, he might have held off taking the steps that he did," Scott said.
"It's one thing to think about doing that, but it's another to actually execute the plan."
Messenger and Todd, 29, were fishing on the Wynoochee on Sunday afternoon when rapids swept their 16-foot drift boat into a logjam. The side of the boat slammed against a log, pinning Messenger's left index and middle fingers. The pressure of the water held the boat in place.
The boat was turned upstream at a 45-degree angle and began to fill with water. Todd escaped and went to a nearby home in Aberdeen for help, Scott said. In the meantime, Scott said, Messenger was straddling the quickly filling boat and began to worry it would sink before Todd returned.

*please note: Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollective has exercised unusual editorial discretion in selecting the accompanying image for this post.

reminder: there has not been a post re. thai hookers on this blog for a very long damn time.

2007-06-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

we apologize...

mcbride lake: before and after

2007-06-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

so what happened? according to a Westfly post:

the upper Kalama swelled and made a hard left turnover the road and into the lake and through the beaver ponds below the lake, setting free a bunch of brookies and prolly killing most of them

U.S. Fish and Wildlife: making life easy for Weyerhaeuser

2007-06-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

According to the Seattle PI,
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service offered a Weyerhaeuser Co. executive the opportunity to edit a letter the agency was sending the timber company regarding "concerns" about Weyerhaeuser logging harming spotted owls.
And an internal Weyerhaeuser memo prepared for a meeting with a Bush administration official shows the company wants to do as little as possible to get environmentalists off its back while still cutting as much timber as possible.

gone fishing

2007-06-21T08:23:00.000-07:00

maybe just for today, maybe 'till monday... we're free and easy like the '70s...

undilutable slang truth!

2007-06-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

recently found on the youtubes: a 9 part documentary on the wonderful and frightening world of the fall. we only post this because the fall have kicked a buncha ass over the last 50 years (give or take) and mark e. smith looks like friend of thee kollecktive and lights out PDX fisherman "Company" Karl Karleson.

some capr news

2007-06-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Yay!
John Montana from Capr on the fly is featured in a recent issue of the American Carper mag. A pretty good interview.

Boo!
Red's fly shop now actively taking sports to the flats.

STOW THAT 5 WT., SON! IT'S ON!

2007-06-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

crab creek in the crosshairs?

2007-06-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

Looks like the oft-discussed water storage solution for the columbia/yakima drainage may now be focusing on crab creek. the yakima herald has the story. Money quote:

The state report says a reservoir at Crab Creek, about four miles south of Wanapum Dam, could hold up to 2.65 million acre-feet of water at an estimated cost of up to $3 billion. Lesser priorities in the state study are Sand Hollow, east of the Columbia River, nearly four miles north of Wanapum Dam, and Hawk Creek, south of the river about 40 miles upstream of Grand Coulee Dam in Lincoln County.
The top-rated Crab Creek site, predictably, has drawn criticism from environmental interests who say it would flood a wildlife refuge and damage habitat for endangered fish.
The state report notes the Black Rock study is being conducted by the federal Bureau of Reclamation under separate, congressionally mandated authority -- though the state is a major financial and technical contributor -- and is much further along than Ecology's preliminary analysis and cost estimates of the Grant County sites.

deeeeeeeep spaaaaaaaaase

2007-06-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

always one of our fave-o-rite topics... here's the recent spaaaase shuttle launch as seen from the spaaaaase station.

woah... friday already?

2007-06-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

You simply cannot beat this old-timey shit, son. Enjoy the weekend.

from the "no shit" department: hatchery salmon not the same as wild.

2007-06-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Grist mag has the details:

A federal judge in Washington state has overturned a contentious Bush administration policy that had tallied hatchery-raised fish as well as wild populations when determining the species' status under the Endangered Species Act. Under that policy, that a collection of green groups sued to overturn, upper Columbia River steelhead had been listed as threatened instead of endangered due to the inclusion of millions of hatchery-raised fish in making the determination. "The court concludes that in evaluating any policy or listing determination under the ESA, its pole star must be the viability of naturally self-sustaining populations in their naturally occurring habitat, " U.S. District Judge John Coughenour wrote in his decision. "To be sure, the inclusion of hatchery fish alongside natural fish ... strikes the court as odd." The ruling, welcomed by conservation groups, is at odds with a 2001 decision by another federal judge who ruled hatchery fish should be counted when determining a species' ESA status. Wednesday's decision is likely to be appealed.

wiener dog in a kiddie pool

2007-06-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

no, goof ball, this is not a joke about the gathering of the klan ffbb, it's just a youtube video of a wiener dog running around in a little-bitty swimming pool. we find this clip oddly comforting -- almost zen-like. while the dog is certainly dumb and more than likely nuts, we admire his determination -- his ability to simply lower his dog head and attempt to get the job done -- whatever he perceives that job to be we cannot say. yes, he certainly could be an insane little barky dog, but could there be something behind his zeal other than the need for refreshment? flip-flop, flip-flop, flip-flop, around and around he goes, oblivious to the world about him, deaf to our mocking laughter and feeling none of the "lil' wiener" barbs tossed his way. we could learn a lot from this wee fellow... yes, indeed.

Donny Beaver -- making more pals in PA.

2007-06-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Donny Beaver and his Spring Ridge Club have bought more land (and posted it, of course) along Yellow Creek in Central Pennslyvania. The anglers over at Fly Fishers Paradise are not happy.

now THIS is a whitefish, holmes.

2007-06-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Mostly right, usually is a cool newish blog straight outta PDX. They are obviously doing something right.

wherin we draw a parallel to right wing posters on fly fishing boards using only a short youtube video clip

2007-06-13T09:52:00.000-07:00

gone fishing

2007-06-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

sorry, fellow anglers, those TPS reports will just have to wait another day. we'll be checking out some of of fave cascade streams to see how they is progressing post runoff. thee kollecktive reckons it'll be a three weight situation...

wherein we depart from our usual format

2007-06-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Due to our Kollecktive nature, AHW generally recoils from writing about personal fishing trips, but this pic is prolly just too good to pass up. Old Timey Wally has the story...

it's a new morning at thee ass hooked whitey kollecktive

2007-06-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

Greetings Anglers!
As we begin our second year of bringing you 169% badass stuff, it's time refocus and remember what AHW is all about:
fishing
punk rock, old timey, country and free jazz
deep space
the fond memory of the wayne fontes era of detroit lions football
other stuff we can't seem to recall right now.

O! Anglers, another year stretches afore us like a golden road...

50,000 Ass Hooked Whitey Fans Can't Be Wrong

2007-06-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

First, our 1-year birfday and now, 50,000 hits. Thee Kollecktive would like to take this opportunity to apologize in advance for the next year and the next 50,000 visitors.

we gotta chain of flowers... we're smoking cigars

2007-06-06T10:35:00.000-07:00

Thee AHW Birfday Specktackular Continues... this just in from our close personal friend Bjork. Thanks, baby, we'll see you for the fjord fishing in da fall...

wherin thee ass hooked whitey turns 1 year old

2007-06-06T10:20:00.001-07:00

Actually, thee anniversary passed while we were recently fishing, but whatever... after close to 50,000 visitors, we are still verry proud to be, "that fetid fly fishing backwater". In the coming year, we promise, as always, to attempt to do better. Thanks for your support, we do appreciate it.
--Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollecktive

a beatdown (typed)

2007-06-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Our pals over at Voluntary Beatdown recently posted a pretty frigging funny screed regarding trout, trout fishing and the dorks what fish for trout. Money quote:

proven entertainment: pale trout people and big hats weekend driving their wife's SUV and sporting cute little vests that make cowbell clanking noises when they walk and those taxonomic Latin sweet nothings they whisper into each others ears and, this one really gets us here at the Beatdown: the limp wrist, whippy little mending.

Thank you, beatdown. It just needed to be said.

gone fishin'

2007-05-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

me and "old-timey" wally is outta here for a coupla days.

uh oh... bass in Davis Lake

2007-05-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

the Eugene Register-Guard has a well-done recap. Money quote:

In its first attempt to estimate the size of the bass population last year, the ODFW calculated that in excess of 8,000 bass greater than eight inches long lived in the lake.
Follow-up sampling completed the weekend of May 19-20 indicates the population is now about 14,200.

in the end, it all comes back to bacon

2007-05-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Lord knows we've spent a number of very valuable AHW posts discussing bacon -- there was WT's bacon-fried connamon rolls that started it all; there were the maple bacon donuts, and now: maple bacon cupcakes with maple frosting. Money Quote:

The brown sugar and maple syrup make the cupcakes sweet while the minced bacon salts it. The maple frosting is then sprinkled with turbinado sugar and sea salt. The cake is light, salty, sweet, and just... well, different. In a good way. If you're a fan of salty sweet combos, then you'll like this cupcakes as it shows off bacon's true versatility as not just a tasty breakfast bit, but a true key ingredient in sweet things.

anglers! commence thee commencing!

2007-05-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hey! It's the weekend -- and a long one to boot! Woot! Woot! Woot! Your pals at Thee Ass Hooked Whitey Kollecktive (and brewery) wish yuo and productive holiday. As for thee Kollective, well, we'll try to do better after the break. And now, we're gonna kick it over to our close personal friends, The Specials, who request that you "Enjoy Yourself". Take it away, kids!

holy jesus! world record* capr!

2007-05-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

I was pretty excited to see the picture of the world record capr (above) until I actually took the time to read the story in the Daily Mail. Seems the angler, Graham Slaughter, caught "Kylie" using tuna for chum and something called "solar byt bolies" for bait.
"I used Solar byt boilies as bait and had laid down some tuna in the water. It slicks and attracts carp which have a great sense of smell. "The boilies are a mix of shrimp, yeast and tiger nuts. They love the taste of the shrimp and yeast and the tiger nuts are crunchy which they like.
"I then went back to the shore where I sat and waited for a bite.
"It gave me a real buzz when my alarm went off. It's the moment you are waiting for when you are sitting there with your rod.
chum?... bait?... ALARM?!?! OK, world record, maybe, but world record wiff an *

George Bush hates this fish

2007-05-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

From the ENS newswire:
Two senior House Democrats launched an inquiry today into reports that a Bush political appointee may have improperly removed a California fish from a list of threatened species in order to protect her own financial interests.
Julie MacDonald, who resigned this month as Interior Department deputy assistant secretary for fish, wildlife and parks, was actively involved in removing the Sacramento splittail fish from the federal threatened and endangered species list at the same time that she was profiting from her ownership of a farm that lies within the habitat area of the threatened fish, according to an investigative report published Sunday by the "Contra Costa Times" newspaper.

thee now we've seen everything dept: a dog what loves crass!

2007-05-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

We've never pegged little dogs as having much musical taste, but here it is!

all is well in the midwest... except...

2007-05-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

thee FW Daily News is on the story:

A new controversy is flaring up along our local trout streams. It involves a hot fly that attracts trout like iron filings to a magnet.

Some fly fishermen declare the killer pattern profanes fly-fishing’s sacred traditions. They declare its use is abhorrent, marking the end of civilization as we know it. Others are more relaxed, viewing its appearance on our local waters as a passing fancy, an aberration in the evolution of fly-fishing that soon will fade into oblivion, like the Studebaker automobile.

Who is right?

More importantly, what is the name of the fly?

stupid, stupid whales

2007-05-22T08:41:00.000-07:00

Delta and Dawn (yup, they have now been named) continue to swim in circles in the Sacramento River. Why won't they go back into the ocean? Why are they just swimming in circles. What do they want? What are they attempting to tell us? Why does Trout Underground's Tom Chandler do nothing? We want answers, dammit!

UPDATE!!! Chandler fishes the upper Sacramento, but still...

No more free meat. Alas, Les Schwab is no more

2007-05-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

Good night, radial king. Crosscut has a nice send off.